One week to Palooza

It's very hard to believe that Holtzapalooza is just around the corner. Being the oldest of the Holtz clan gives me the honor of being the last to be told about this important reunion. First they said "Don't forget we are having this shindig." A few weeks later, the next tidbit they gave me was it was in August. But they omitted the date. A couple of weeks later they decided to tell me it was the 5th not the 6th, whatever that meant. Finally a month later after I had been figiting and asking questions; they finally told me I had to bring food. So far, so good. Luckily I was keeping track of all these words in my little notebook. Which is named, Grandma's office file. I have about 15 of these little information books. They come in handy whenever I am having an argument about dates. For the record, I usually win. So far I have party, date, and food jotted down. After looking and prodding again they finally condescended to tell me my list. My list consists of chips, pretzels, two kinds of cheese, crackers, and of course pop, pepperoni, and beer. They did not tell me what kind as of yet. That's okay, we still have little over a week. My SS should arrive on August 3rd just in time to get these items.

Today was a red letter day. Guess what????? I found out, I had to get a secret surprise gift. No one must know what it is that we buy. I was very fortunate that Jenna and Austin were free to take me out shopping. The big question was where should we go? I was thinking of a very expensive store, but they voted me down. But, they suggested Target. Their thought process was if we spent less, there was more money for a meal afterwards.

Those two are always on the ball. It took us two hours to find our selections. Fifteen minutes to buy it and 1 hour and 45 minutes dodging each other, so no one knew what everyone was purchasing. Believe me, I was very exhausted after this trip. I was so happy when we sat down at Bob Evan's. Jenna tried sneaking out to the car to see what I had purchased. But, attentive Austin ran out and caught her before she could see.

After a hearty meal they brought me home where I quietly collapsed into my easy chair. I only have one more piece of information to get. What kind of beer?? Uh oh, I forgot the second important question, what time are you picking me up?? Don't you dare forget me!!!!!

I can hardly wait to be together and share lots of laughs, even a few tears. Gramps will be in his glory with the best seat in the house, beaming at us having the time of our lives.

Love, Gram

Auntie P Does The Yankees!

The plan was hatched between K and Auntie for a trip to NYC. They charitably offered an invite to Unkie knowing that he would probably refuse since he had been boycotting the city since 1968. Having been disappointed by the Rodex watch he purchased in Time Square he vowed no more trips to Sodom by the Sea. But his quest to visit all major league ballparks would require, at some point, going back. So to NYC we would go, but there would have to be a baseball game included. Auntie, always the researcher, discovered that both E-Rod and Randy were enthusiastic flockers, so she quickly jumped at the chance. Game day, Friday, followed the great shoe incident of Thurs. evening and admittedly Auntie was hurting, but being the gamer that she is, she sucked it up and off we went. Even our ineptness at purchasing subway cards at rush hour did not bring out the much-maligned city tempers, and we were off to the Bronx.




















The area around the stadium, with the bars and shops, was surprisingly pleasant. Unkie, a card carrying Yankee hater since the mid-50’s was beginning to show signs of relenting. He reminded himself of how the hated Bronx Bombers had for years used their major league farm team, the Kansas City A’s, as a source of star players, and this was even before the days of George and the Evil Empire. As our hardy little group plopped down the first 20 for two beers and began our trek up to what seemed to be the top of the world, it quickly became apparent that we were the only people in the stadium not wearing a Yankee and/or a White Sox shirt or hat. We almost lost K when we found our seats and she looked WAY down on the action. It was an exciting game and even unc had to admit that he had never seen 55,000 plus fans so totally into a game.


Even with that mob all leaving the stadium at the same time, we were still back on the subway and at the hotel in 45 minutes, denying unkie of one other possible complaint.


There was even time the following day for shopping and sight seeing. Auntie was a bit disappointed that the promised flocking did not occur and had to satisfy herself with the Museum of Folk Art and lots of stores. Unkie took the Rodex back to Times Square to look for the sales person but had no luck in getting his five dollars back.

He did have success finding some bars that actually sold $3 draft beers and after all, that is what any trip is all about, cheap beer.












We did have plenty of time for gourmet food and never missed a chance to try something new and different even if we didn't know what we were eating.














Our stay would have meant nothing if we had not sailed past the "grand lady" herself on our trip to Ellis Island. Ya gotta love free enterprise and imagination! Posted by UnkieC

Holtzes take Manhattan

It all started innocently enough. Mom and Dad in Manhattan! I'll get them acclimated by plying them with wine, Italian food, and the walk from 59th to Houston street in 96 degree heat. PERFECT!

Times Square! Looks a little different than it did in 1970, huh? Shops and restaurants! Sights and sounds! And the local flora and fauna...

As this innocent tourism of the "Big Apple" unfolds, little did we suspect that the night was about to take a different turn. Near tradegy is sneaking down 42nd street, the Holtzes in his proverbial sight.

Great shoes in the window of Banana Republic. An enthusiastic crossing of the street. Construction materials wantonly left in front the road of Rockfeller Center. And a tricked out Escalade with Westchester Country Plates.

And the next thing you know, one of the group is in a crumpled heap on the ground, bruising instantaneously. One is saying "oh JEEEEEEEEEZUS!". And one is laughing her ass off. I'm not naming names. I'm not. I won't. I'm not!

Near tradegy was averted due to fast thinking, advil, ice, and a $20 to the guy in the escalade.

Ask to see the bruises. They're really something.

What I Remember...

Golfing with Beer Pt. I
by JT Pilaf


After our round of golf, Unckie C and I went out for lunch and sucked down a few beers (I think we had some chicken thing too). When Tabitha, the barmaid, told us to go home, we continued our beer drinking at the Grover Road Bar and Grille. The grille wasn't serving, but the bar was open and we sucked down a few more cold refreshing beverages out on the patio. That's when the real conversations started, the exchange of intoxicating and exhilerating substance between two men.

We started right out of the gates with world peace. Surprisingly, both of us are for it. I remember Unckie C saying something very poignant as a dove landed just a few feet in front of us. Was it a sign? Or dinner? Makes you wonder.

Unckie also mentioned his opportunity years ago to buy land behind his house and turn it into a sanctuary or safe haven for our fury woodland creatures. I was all for this. And... I may even had made a toast. You know my love towards our fury friends of the forest. Soon, with no segue, I mentioned my deepest inner circle of friends. My trusted comrades, my posse', my... anyway, I think I scared Unckie. He pulled his chair back just a little and gave me a nervous smile of approval. And then said " Yo yo, homes, I'll smell ya later".

It was getting late, we were out of beer, and all I could think about was that dove that landed earlier.
But before I left, I left this parting shot at my gracious host, Yakov Smirnoff is the funniest Russian comedian. I mean that too. That guy kills me.
Thanks Unckie for a great day of golf. Next up, "the scene of the crime". You know I'll be practicing.

THE PERFECT STORM

My View by AuntieP





It all began calmly enough. Who would have guessed in 2 short hours, a balmy sunny day would turn into a drive thru hell and back?
You see, I was on duty to drive my parents into Amherst for their routine MD visit. I arrived at the condo and Rod was waiting outside with the car keys in hand. ”Your turn to drive” he announced with a smirk. “Ok!” I agreed with a big smile. Usually we toss a coin since no one wants to drive when Bette is riding shotgun. She NEVER lets anyone else drive because she is the best driver ever and the rest of us are the “world’s worse asshole drivers”. (Direct quote, I swear).

Everything seemed to be going fine until we started homeabout 2:45 pm. The sky did look a little dark but we journeyed on. It seemed a bit unusual to see bolts of lightening absolutely perpendicular to the ground but hey we could handle it. It started to rain lightly and I roused dad from his nap in the back seat to inquire how I might turn on the wipers. I kept cranking up the speed on the wipers as the rain fell harder and harder. “Look”, I exclaimed excitedly. “It’s hail!” Little itty-bitty hail that got bigger and bigger until it sounded like a WWII fighter jet peppering the car with rapid-fire ammo.

I hazarded a quick glance at my mother to see how she was doing and was immediately concerned about her BP, which tends to skyrocket on a whim. “Pull over, pullover” she screamed. Being the disobedient daughter that I am, I kept on driving convinced I could out run this pesky storm. Besides, I didn’t relish the thought of being stranded with these two for hours if the underpasses flooded, which is just what they were doing. Tenser moments were ahead as suddenly I was driving thru 2” of icy hail on the ground and the car did a little fish tail just to get my attention.

“Dad,” I said innocently, “look out the back window. Those look like tornado clouds.” Our location at that moment was Union and Galleria Drive. By now, all traffic lights were out but up ahead it looked bright and so I drove on and to my relief, right out of storm. We arrived at the condo in time to get Betty, her walker and Rod inside before the rain hit West Seneca.

Now some may call me a hero but in my mind I was just doing my duty as a loving daughter!





P.S. Any one know who these people are?