When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris does'nt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9 comments:
Um, I guess that I am first. OK. I am not quite sure what to say, but I do feel an overwhelming urge to go and buy the workout machine that Chuck and Mrs. Chuck have been huckstering for the past few years. I was not aware of the depth of the Chuck Norris hero worship that seems to be out there.
Chuck Norris!!!
I saw good Gary today working at "The Depot", well it's not that I saw him,, rather I bumped into him after he threw me up against the wall and told me to spread 'em. All that comotion for just a eco-light bulb. I'm just trying to go green.
I wonder if Jll heard that story about Good Gary!
Sunday night I took gram to her favorite restaurant to ring in her 92nd, Texas Roadhouse. I slipped the waitress a note that said today is Nancy's 92nd birthday, SING REALLY LOUD FOR HER!
The waitstaff came and gave her a YEE YAW. As we were leaving, an older gentleman in his late 70's early 80's asked Grandma if he could buy her a drink, grandma polietly refused.
When we got our bill, I noticed that the 2 Dukes (26 oz of beer) we ordered, we were only charged for 1. As I left, the older gentleman said; please tell her I bought her a drink!
HOW CUTE!!!!!
Good Gary takes no mercy. I hope he was gentle Jff.
Anybody see that movie Slumdog Millionaire??? Ya me neither.
Happy tuesday one and all.
So we did have big plans for Anastasia on her 92nd. We picked her up and our goal was to go to as many counties in WNY and get her scratch offs! As we set out our first stop was Earl's for lunch, and after that she said, she was done and wanted to head for home. So our scratchoffs were purchased in Erie and Niagara Co!
We will have a birthday blog, pinky swear!
But who wants to trump on Chuck Norris, that is unamerican!
Atta boy Jff!
Go Green!
Did you see the documentary on the guy who saved his garbage for a whole year???
Pretty inspiring, we all need to reduce!
Just curious???
Jff always comments when he runs into goodgary, but does goodgary ever comment when he runs into jff?
I'm just saying...
Things I thnk about while I am contemplating what to have for lunch!
Jff you never cease to amaze me. I believe this is you that posted this!
Busy day at work today, with an open house until 5pm; so if your looking for part-time work come on down!
Austin is moving to Lockport this Saturday and after the move were headed to the bandits game on Saturday night! So this week is very exciting.
Our paychecks are going up starting April 1st. Does anyone want to comment on the 51 minutes that we will never get back again (Barack Obama speech)?
Love the new O blog! It really shows he got the Holtz "dancing" gene, as none of us are that talented.
So is everyone ready for another fantasy baseball beatdown this year?
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