My heartfelt apology to my family due to my "slacking" on the Blog. You see, it is actually depressing. My mother decided to raise my rent this year (something about getting her daughter, Jillian an excellent gift). Due to this surprise, I have been actively pursing jobs at "the golden arch" and Chuckie Cheese.
Last Sunday, my mother and I picked up Gram and took her to 11 am mass. The mass was dedicated to a 90 year old, who was celebrating her birthday. Gram, became quite jealous that her name wasn't mentioned. The priest included the 90 year old woman in his sermon. He talked about the longevity of life, and the continued worship of our heavenly father. When the whole church stood in ovation and clapped, Gram sat in the pew with her arms crossed and her bottom lip over her top lip. (It was a look that I gave far to often when I didn't see that pony under the Christmas tree) Perhaps we can make her 90th special as well. If I get this job at the "golden arch" we can host a Birthday party. Maybe I can ask my high school boss, if I could get 10% off. Or, we could order cake and have it in the community room.
After Church, Gram's stomach began to rumble. We quickly headed to Bob Evans; her favorite place to eat. There was a mob of people waiting to get their table. I fought through the crowd and gave them Gram's name. I said to the server "Bula is her name and eating is her game , now how long is the wait?" After we sat down, we enjoyed a nice brunch. We paid the bill, left a nice tip and then left.
What happened next was one of those, "I guess you had to be there stories." I was sitting in the back seat, looking out the window watching the rain just pumble the streets and leave puddles everywhere. I pretended I was asleep, so I didn't have to participate in the conversation between my mom and gram. My mom slowed down to abide the 30 mph speed limit sign; right before Wilson Farms. Just after we passed Wilson Farms; Gram mumbled "I was gonna". I perked up and said "What, Finish your thought!" (I knew what she was thinking. She wanted to either buy or turn in scratch off tickets). Gram began to laugh, and said "I was just talking to myself." I looked at mom and said, go to the nearest Wilson Farms. Gram asked, "How did you know what I was thinking?" Well, if you were in the car before we reached Wilson Farms; her hands began starting to sweat and twitch and she clutched on to her purse. Like I said, I guess you had to be there.
My mom pulled into the Wilson Farms, and I said to Gram; "okay here you are, go get your tickets." It was pouring out! I felt a little guilty, so she handed me her winnings; and I went in. She wanted her $2 Crossword games. I handed them to her, and she smiled from ear to ear.
We dropped her off at Luther Manor, and I told her I would see her on Tuesday; election day!
Tuesday came in the blink of an eye. I arrived promptly at Luther Manor at 10 am to pick up Lois and Gram. I drove them .1 mile to the corner so they could fulfill their constitutional right. I would like to thank my cousin JR for "renigging" on his promise to his loving Gram and her neighbor. Gram and Lois registered and stood in line. I went in the election booth with Gram and read her both Propositions. I pulled the lever for each elected official she wanted. If we didn't agree, I picked the name; and she never knew.
After voting, not boating; both Lois and Gram had a grocery list that had to be completed. I lost track of time we were shopping so long. Gram quickly ditched Lois and I, so she could buy more of her lottery tickets, (see above picture). They both checked out, 2 and a half hours later. Lois put me in charge of getting a few items; 1 Peppermint Scope, 1 can of Bee Wax (she uses it for her chocolate), and 3 slices of Olive Meat. Gram put me in charge of getting her lottery tickets. I think she is in denial of her addiction. Of course, they both needed more of their cashword scratch offs. Standing in front of the lottery booth, I fed the machine dollar after dollar. I started to get a cramp in my hand; I begged them to stop! They grabbed their tickets, so fast out of my hand I have a few paper cuts to prove it. 
After Tops, they both wanted lunch. They both decided on Athena's. I pulled into the packed parking lot and we scooted our way in. We had lunch, and they both only had half of their sandwiches and saved the other half for later. After lunch, I dropped them off at Lutheran Manor; put their bags in the elevator, and sped off.
More Christmas shopping to come. On a personal note, Sometimes I am rather hesistant to post; because my family quickly points out any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes I make. Please know, that this blog was sent to McGraw Hill for their input and proofreading. I will post more later.
I also should mentioned that Jill has registered to vote. She is the newest member of the Working Families Party. Please do not get her going on this; because she will not stop and bore you with big words that you will not understand and look up in the Websters. (I am speaking from experience).
Just out of curiosity, How come Uncle Chuck hasn't posted ever?
12 comments:
what a great BLOG! I found it when I "BLOGGED" Christmas! Does the elderly lady have a computer so she can see her pictures and read about herself. She looks cute and adorable. You guys are very lucky! Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I will check this site often to see how this plays out.. Greetins from the midwest!
Jenna, I can barely get by the first three paragraphs. Is there any way you can add more pictures. Pictures take up a lot of space. Little trick I did in college.
Hey-Somebody in the midwest really, really likes us! lonesome
Grandma... cute and adorable??? Thats how she reels you in and then she will start talking about how she wants to see Saddam Hussein strung up by his balls!
Yes, it was my turn to take Gramma shopping. We had a stop at Tops but something very strange occurred. It seems that she no longer has her handicapped parking permit. This struck me as strange since, in the past, when she dug it out of her purse to use on my mirror, upon completion of the stop, she tore it down with such energy, that it usually required reattachment of the mirror. I dropped her off, and since two-thirds of the Tops lot is devoted to handicapped parking, left the car down by Blockbuster and walked to Tops. There was the usual single slice of olive loaf for Lois, etc.but upon completion of the shopping she became somewhat distracted by the siren call of the 4, countem 4, scratch off machines at the end of the checkout. She claims to be a victim of Jenna Hyperbole involving her cashword fetish, but was shaking visibly as she approached the machine for, what she claimed was her once a week purchase, if she loses. Onward to Athena's for lunch. Again, parking difficulties because of handicapped only occupying 90% of the lot. I parked down at KFC, walked to Athena's, found the table permanently reserved for Nancy, and we ordered. During the interval she was approached by a "gentleman" who was enchanted by her HONEOYE sweatshirt.We know what the geezer was looking at--this male attention has become somewhat of a concern of late. Seems to happen often. Apparently the Octagenarian lotharios prowl both tops and Athena's. Finished lunch and Mom offered to cover the tip until she discovered how little the bill was and how small the tip would be. I walked back to retrieve the car, at least I was getting some significant exercise, we returned to Happy Acres and got the opportunity to meet Lori, who was introduced to me as the 3rd Mrs. John Holtz----only kidding, he said. Maybe some new cousins for this year's xmas at the Rice's?? She is really quite charming, and extremely perceptive, as she asked which of us was the older brother. I still can't figure out how Jenna got custody of that handicapped card. Is there a blackmarket for those?? Can they be "sold on the street"?? You are doing a great job with this Jenna and keep up the good work. I, personally, am looking forward to seeing everyone at Chrismas, although I won't be able to afford to participate in the gift exchange after the financial spanking that my nephew gave me on the golf course.
First off, I'd like to compliment cousin jeff -- even if he's shirking his election responsibilities, at least he gives his names on his posts. What's with all the "anonymous?" Us Holtz's are usually PROUD to claim our names! Second, I wanted to report that I was very excited the other morning because I thought I received an email from Jenna. Come to find out, it was someone trying to sell me a combination pack -- free PhD with the purchase of a LoRex watch (same brand as worn by Brad Pitt! Neat!). My final contribution -- I'm wondering if Gram would like to visit the midwest? We could chip in and get her a plane ticket to go visit her new midwestern admirer ...
Thank you Kristen for those kind and supportive words and thank you Uncle Chuck for the $1.75. I added that to my previous winnings and bought a #1 with a coke at Micky D's. I didn't supersize though because of that movie.
Great story Uncle Chuck, it's too bad about the handicap permit. They can be elusive.
And still no response from the creator of this site. Come on Jenna, what about the handicapped card??? You have done a great job here, but we need ALL of the facts.With all of the non-family members involved in this, full disclosure is of primary importance. Having spent a few weeks this fall in America's Heartland, I know that they place a premium on being forthcoming.
I wish that I was technically savy enough to create an identity, but each time I try, it tells me that the name is already taken, and as my nephew Jeffrey knows, I get frustrated easily, especially when being on a fixed income and losing money playing golf. As Les Nessman once said on WKRP, "oh, the inhumanity of it all". By the way, in which episode did he say that? Come on all of you Holtz's with vast knowledge of totally useless information.
That just happens to be my favorite episod. "As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly" Arthur Carlson.
With all of continuing warm weather, I think that it is time for Uncle Gary to put up the plastic over all of the windows in order to recreate that most memorable Christmas when we were all sealed into the Grove St. residence on a 70 degree Christmas Day. The cooking Turkey had the indoor temp. registered at a very moist 100 degrees plus.
Hey look at me... I remembered my password!!
Adam is lost...check out first entry...comment #31
Is ANYONE cluing us in on "the new game" of Christmas? Once again...who is in charge? There must be someone in charge...I hope it is not Adam...he can't even find the right page! Jeff said to pick on Adam 'cause we didn't get a Halloween card either!
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