His professional hockey days are long behind him, but Mustafa still hangs out in the hockey community, and has been recently caught on wire tap having a conversation with Rick Tocche' and betting on sports. In the conversation he is repeatedly demanding Tocche' to implicate actress, model, humanitarian, and all-around sweet girl Janet Johns as the ring leader in the sports betting . With fear of being implicated himself in Operation Slapshot, Mustafa has hit the road and is going into hiding.
He went home to tell his wife Marge that he had to get out of town immediately, he gave her a quick little pickle tickle and then was going to be on his way. But, Mustafa figured he'd go for broke and asked Marge if her best friend wouldn't mind joining in too (or three), before he left. To Mustafa's surprise...
Marge and her friend, Uma agreed ...
So after to doing the white
squirrel's dance all night long he left first thing in the morning.
Mustafa bought what he thought was a map, rented a boat and headed north. Only up North, in Canada, would they understand the gambling and drinking problems of a hockey legend. Unfortunately for Mustafa he had very little knowledge of sailing and ended up south. Not to mention he almost choked himself to death.
With this setback Mustafa returned to what he knew best, getting drunk and opinionated.
Booze brings out the worst in Mustafa. He's an angry drunk. He's gone on weekend binges before that have landed him in jail.
Confused, angry, and out of his mind, he goes on a killing spree in Joplin that had grown men wishing they'd never been born.
Down and out Mustafa came crashing down.
He needed money fast. So he called some old friends who pretended to never even know him, which forced him to do it the old fashion way.
Now with money and a cool buzz Mustafa made his way north. This time in tow. Nothing is going to stop Mustafa from reaching "Destination Freedom".
Nothing, that is, except a snow storm. It is Canada... in the winter. I mean... come on. What was he expecting?
53 comments:
A CLASSIC COUSIN JEFF!!!!! Your best blog!!!!
Yea me!!!
It's amazing how hot, innocent chicks and sports gambling can create a whirlwind of ideas.
Michelle has to skate tonight. She has to suck it up and skate for America. Skate for all us Olympic wannabes. Didn't she read my Olympic blog?
Aunt P. came down stairs and all she said was "jff needs to be taken out behind the woodshed. He is a bad boy". I had no idea what she was referring to. Now I know. Maybe it is a good thing that his mother and father do not have a computer to see this. Mustafa will never become a Disney character, but if there is a rodent version of South Park, he has a career.
I had to go back and read the comments on plinko's blog that I had missed. I never realized how we are all so genetically wired for avoidance. Seems that Auntie B. will do most anything to avoid painting. You know, I can relate to that. My summer painting is not something that I have ever missed. And just who is still in dancing with the stars, Jerry or Gary Rice?? I didn't see it this week.
jff, two questions. who's your dealer? and, can I have some?
oh family -- what a day this has been! First, packing up everything I own and trust 3 men and a truck to take it to Atlanta (and not just fence it). Then, the "going away party" -- do you know how exhausting it is to spend 5 hours trying not to cry? Now, Mustafa. I've overwrought.
Boy, Beantown's getting hit hard. 60 mph winds and snow coming down since 2 AM. Theo Epstein just forfeited their first week of Red Sox games. I think that was a very smart and conservative move. Very odd in Boston. How far from Boston is Quincy?
We're fine here in Buffalo. Sunny and delightful.
Kristen, have you ever seen the movie "Funnny Farm" with Chevy Chase? Just make sure the directions you gave the truck drivers were detailed.
Buried in Beantown is the headlines on MSNBC. KDH!! Good Luck with the move!!
I think Mustafa learned some of that behavior down by the river!
Jff, Quincy, my town, borders directly on boston. Its nice to see the weather channel crews broadcasting from my back yard. its really not that bad here. Although,I don't think i've ever seen it snow "upwards" before. sideways, yes. but not upwards. thats kinda weird.
We all have aspirations and dreams of participating in the Olympics, like my cousin. I am preparing for the luge in my lazyboy, with my toes pointed in.
I will keep everyone posted on my OLympic quest.
KDH, I hope the move is going successful! Adam, Go directly to blockbuster and rent a few movies.
Were I to ever attend the winter olympics, the only tickets that I would be likely to score would be those for the luge. You stand by the track to watch someone go by on their back at 80+ mph. The only thing that you can really hope for is that the "luger"? "lugie"? loogie? would go off the course directly over your head. K's flight was delayed until 2pm. Last we heard she was at the airport, had upgraded to first class, and was tugging on her flask. She actually lucked out with the weather, all things considered. Bets, you have the right idea. Keep "the position"
I'm bummed out about Michelle Kwan and I'm not really sure if I want to watch anymore Olympics. Is Emily Hughes worthy of Michelle's spot or did Sarah have it in her contract that she had to come.
I love to luge!!! I'm a luger!!! Hear me swoosh.
Oh No!!! Ono's out. That can't be. He's the man. He's got that thing on his chin that gives him the power to ward off Korean men on skates.
Huge comeback in X-country skiing. I think Mr. Fix-it sacraficed himself to take out the German team.
i haven't seen any olympic coverage yet today. its all about the "storm of the century" and all that... boring...
I'm pissed. boy, do i miss the canadian stations during winter olympic broadcasts
Good news family -- I am HERE! The flight, though 2 hours late, passed uneventfully, and with my three bags of the most random of my household items (sample bag contents: a screwdriver, shampoo, an apron, a picture of Auntie P in London and a Virgin Mary) I am settling in to my new home. Pictures forthcoming -- I don't want to detract from Mustafa, but I may be up for bloggin sometime soon...
Blog away cuz. Mustafa's used to getting the shaft.
KDH...glad you are there safe and sound...did you notice that Jff asked about the movie Funny Farm?? There was a squirrel issue in that movie too!! Now I'm getting a little concerned...I think he might just be squirrel possessed!!I've been wondering if he really plays hockey or he just SAYS he does...hmmm...the games sure do seem to take a long time...
Yea successfully booked flights to san antonio. Dont tell Gramma she is sitting in cargo, it was the cheapest way to go....departing 3/25 returning 03/29..
cirque d' whatever? Wow. Glad that someone in our family has some culture. Cool!! And Auntie P. justloves Chef's. It is her most favorite.
punched in to Danya South! all the boxes of all my stuff from my office pre-arrived me, so in case I don't want to work, I can start unpacking. I'd rather be blogging than either!
There's actually a dusting of snow on the ground here today too. Wacky weather!
So what ARE the plans for Holtzapalooza? There's a whole DC contingent planning on coming, and they're going to want to rent their RV early....
why did my blog get bounced? i thought mine would stay up for at least 2 months.
and i only finished with 33 comments. that blows. will i get another shot? i can be funner
as a frequent checker of this site, I must say you do cover a lot of ground with your posts. And this one was a little risque too... how funny
did you guys get the snow the rest of the east coast got? here's to keeping your shovel sharp.
Jmmy, whenever you feel inspired you just let us know. "Don't give up, don't ever give up"... Jimmy V.
Snow's comin' down now.
Glad to hear Danyya is sooooooo effecient. I would hate to see a Monday as a non-productive day. Personally, I use Mondays as a springboard to Tuesday. I like to see how many coffee's I can drink before taking a bathroom break with my People magazine.
Where's Fargo?
I thought she was bobsleddin'?
Jimmy---you should have known by now that someone would jump up and over ride your blog. THOSE PEOPLE are so fearful that someone might get ahead of them. they are so competitive.
Chinese courage prevails... that's what makes the Olympics. Oh yeah, and the new scoring system.
Kristen, we need a blog about the move. Trucker pictures.
I can't believe an olympic skater can fall flat on her butt, stop her program and still win the silver medal. That french judge is back on the scene, I tell ya! And those "olympic" snowboarders? They make me feel so OLD! the're all stoked with all the rad massive air they're getting. and what's up with the flying tomato? In all the news that counts, though, Boston University won their 27th beanpot championship last night.
If I strap on a pair of of skates and fall on my butt maybe I could get a medal too! She got a pity medal!! I'm outraged and that's never good. (Unkie will be hiding out under the cupboard all day. He gets scared when I'm outraged.)
Albany fan, saying happy valentines day to my favorite read! Maybe cupid's arrow will find all you lonely holtz ladies, referring to previous blog's that I have read.
sorry you have gotten your share of snow cold and ice, but its winter, I am sure you are all used to it by now, right, if not you would have moved!
Are all of these Olympians deliberately doing all of these great falls just for all of us Romans out here demanding bread and circuses?? Skiiers being helilifted off the mountains? Loogies finishing face first. Thank God for Canadian TV and real time reporting. With 1.4 billion potential buyers out there, of course they are going to throw the Olympics to the Sinos. You thought that the Seahawks got screwed? Just keep watching. I want all of YOU PEOPLE to know that I hold the document giving us title to the cottage for Holtzapalooza, but I have refrained blogging to date expecting something relative to Hotlanta, the storm of the century, cirque de.., the impending San Antonio trip or whatever. I don't plan on suffering the same fate as poor jmmy---coming up with an EXCELLENT blog and then getting stepped on by a jealous attention seeking relative. Come on Jnna--give us a schedule like you did before xmas. And I am not cowering under the kitchen sink. It is Valentine's day and i am proudly walking around, as I do annually, with my "little red heart on"
..and what a sight that is!
Well Unkie C. We would all love to hear about KDH's move, then your up. Jimmy, no cutting in!!!
Using the current skating scoring system it has been proposed that: Scott Norwood's was a difficult field goal but he was long enough and high enough under tough circumstances so we will penalize him one point on the miss, give the Bills 2 and thus we win 21-20 over the Giants. Go Bills!!
Thank you to my lovely sister, my computer no longer sits on a box of shot glasses. She assembled my tv stand and my computer desk in record time. Thank you COOKIE.
I am a little concerned that we have not heard from Cousin Jff at 4 pm today. I am sure he had big plans with his valentine.
As for me, I spent the day with Gram. I give her a lot of credit, she is a great tipper. But, on this occassion our waitress was penalized for forgetting her sourdough bread. I think she learned her lesson!
Sorry to hear that our leader is down with the bug. Forecast high for Fargo for Friday is minus 7 so that probably means that their computers are frozen solid. Will be doing an update on Holtza... as soon as I can get Auntie P. to help me. We need to be looking ahead. August will be here before we know it.
Speaking of Holtzapoolza...do we have a theme? We've got to have a theme!!
The race is on...
The road to...
Luau 2006...
Fiesta Family...
Buffalo Bash...
Come on people- think!
No Jff...no themes about SQUIRRELS! (You scare me)
I may be down, but I am certainly not out!
Unkie C, I feel a Sunday blog is in your forecast since you are spending the day with Gram on Saturday.
Sanda, I like the color coded theme for the tee shirts. How's that going.
Theme, we do need a theme.
kind of disappointed people, this site usually has good sports postings going on, but with the olympics in full gear, it has been kind of dull. so what is going on
Hey Fargo...we hit 50 degrees today! Go figure!
Jff just announced that the first USA goal was scored by someone from Rochester--best sports I can do right now!
I tried to post yesterday at 3:31 but the site was down (under constuction) and a engineer was being contacted. So I quickly and quietly retreated so no one would know it twas I.
A theme? Let's think. Hhmmmmm???
Think, think, think...
How about a re-creation of Gilligan's Island, The Musical? Okay, Unckie C can be Jonas Grumby.
Wait... to many Holtz's not enough parts. We'd all be palm trees.
We could come dressed up as our favorite American Revolution war heroes wife? I'll be Mrs. Paul Revere. Adam can be Mrs. Thomas Paine.
Any other suggestions?
Sports???
Danny Gare was a coach (not a head coach) for what NHL team?
i dont want to start a argument here btu i cant get into the olympics. maybe if i died my hair red and talked like a surfer i could be a olympian. i am probably just jealous that i cant do have the stuff they do. okay i cant do anything they can do. but i have decided not to root for team usa. i am banking all my money on the sole person from tajikistan. dont be impressed i have no idea where that place is. my teacher said there was only 1 person from there competing in the olympics.
jim wanted to show off that he was popular on a website. my names steve. funny site
MICHIGAN SIGNING BACK IN. I WENT TO THE SUPERBOWL ROOTING FOR THE SEAHAWKS AND WAS RATHER BUMMED. I HAVENT BEEN CHECKING THIS PLACE OUT VERY OFTEN. BUT I AM BACK. IS THAT A PICTURE OF BODE MILLER ON HIS SKIES DRUNK? ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL.
I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT PARTY THEME IDEAS:
BUFFALO BARNYARD BASH- YOU ALL DRESS UP AS FAVORITE BARNYARD ANIMAL AND PLAY PIN THE TAIL ON THE PIGGY
TOGA PARTY
DECADES PARTY
WINE TASTING PARTY
SUMMER EXTRAVAGANAZA
HERE IN MICHIGAN WE DONT PARTY OFTEN
Wine tasting? I think not. Far too sophisticated for this crowd. Toga party has possibility, but does anyone want to see Unkie C that way?
What if we did "great moments in Buffalo history"? McKinley, Scott Norwood -- I mean, we do have historians in the group ...
What about a NASCAR theme?
68 here in the south ...
Schmidty checking back in, still looking for my geneology pool. No one named schmidt here?
Looking for a party theme are we?
Well let me thnk over night on this one. I have planned a few get togothers in my day. nothing extravagant mind you, but people always had a good time. which is the important part.
I will get back to you with ideas.
Nascar theme? Interesting.
Thanks Schmiddy, rest on it.
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