Merry Christmas!!!

I just want to thank my dear cousin Adm for being a Red Sox fan (see.... not even my typical Red Sox hate.... it is truly the time of love). FOR, if it wasn't for my cousin Adm's hatred of the Yankees, these incredible items would not be ours. Uncle Chuck, the richest man I know, (famous line describing George Bailey), was beyond generous this year and gave away his major prize. I am not worthy of such generosity. Merry Christmas!

xmas wish part deux

For those who were clamoring... notice the baby belly

our christmas wish!

So, we can't be there for the big day, but we will be in town. Until then, Please take this picture and post it wherever the festivities may be. Think of it as our present to you... Or something like that. I tried to get a picture of me and Amy, but Lucy's not too bright when it comes to working electronic equipment. We need to train her better.

The new corporation

I think the winner is Jenna when it comes to the name! Major prize forthcoming (although I'm still struggling with my pirate gift, so keep you expectations low!)

My plan was to have custom imprinted beer coozies for Christmas day, but who knew that took 10 - 12 business days from Shanghai!? They will be there in spades at the next Holtzapalooza, because hopefully by then I'll actually have some corporate income!

Thank you for all your support family, during this crazy time. I'm up and running, even if I'm working from the local dunkin donuts most mornings. I'm very optimistic!

PS -- sorry I bumped the Christmas Story blog, but people were clamoring!

A Christmas Destination! !

Do you recognize this house?? Hint: "No grizzly bears by Kuloski's Candy Store."

















Bumpuses!!!!!!












Black Bart came sneaking over the roof of the shed....





A Prize--a major prize!
Electric sex! The old man was overcome by art.














Randy, you can come out now.











Soap poisioning!











Fra ra ra ra ra-ra ra ra ra!!!















Unkie always manages to find beer!

Turkey Bowl 2006

Turkey Bowl 2006
by JT Pilaf

Another year and another victory. Ho-hum.
After 18 years of losing I am now on a winning streak of 3 years and 4 out of my last 5. Who said JP can't grow into his position. It just takes a little bit of time.

It was a beautiful sunny day in Buffalo, NY Turkey Day morning. A mild 50 degrees with no wind. Typical for Buffalo at the end of November. The ground was a lil' soft but nothing we couldn't handle. In our own way, we're all mudders.

Notice the post-game beverages.

Next year everyone's invited. The seats are cheap and there's plenty of room. Maybe someone could run a hot dog stand off to the side?

"A Christmas Story" Quiz

I'm not sure if you've ever seen this movie, but I like it. I think one of the TV stations plays it around or on Christmas day. Okay, enough already... you obviously know I'm being sarcastic. Presenting the BEST Christmas movie ever. Simply titled "A Christmas Story"
Just a few things to think about before we meet on Christmas.


Here's some easy questions and maybe a couple to think about:

Name Ralphie's brother?

Name Ralphie's friend who stuck his tongue to the flag pole?

What did Ralphie want for Christmas?

At the end of the mmovie, what did Ralphie say hit him in the eye and broke his glasses?

Why did the adults think what Rallphie wanted for Christmas was a bad idea?

What was the name of the store where Ralphie saw the toy he wanted and where he saw Santa?

The story was based on the life of what humorist?

Name the bully?

What features were remarkable about the bully?

What happened to Ralphie when he said a bad word?

What did the Parker's eat for Christmas dinner and where?

What was the name of Ralphie's mother's magazine where Ralphie hid the ad for the toy he wanted?

What did Ralphie send away for in the mail?

What did Ralphie's Aunt Clara give him for Christmas?

What was the "major award" Ralphie's father won in a contest?

What did Ralphie's father battle with in the basement?

What did Ralphie's father buy "by the gross"?

What phrase spurred Ralphie's friend to stick his tongue to the flagpole?

What did Santa suggest Ralphie should get for Christmas?

What grade did Ralphie get on his theme paper, "What I want for Christmas"?

ThanksGiving 2006...Not to be confused with ThanksGiving 2005

how cute are they!

If it has not been said before, I will say it again. Nothing compares to ThanksGiving! The smells, the food, the feeling of family and friends, ThanksGiving has it all!

Please note the third generation cousins, having fun, just being togother! The look on Jnna's face says it all, as it was her responsibility to deliver gramma and her friend, Ruth. The photo of Ruth is of her trying to put her hearing aid in, which is a story in itself, the other picture is of cocktail hour. Cookie handles quite a bit of the cooking duties, please note the empty bottles of beer and wine in the background. Gramma was the first to the table, right behind Jff, she was very patient, and did clean her plate, which did entitle her to dessert.

Everyone had a grand day, the food was yummy, the conversation divine, you could not ask for a better ThanksGiving, well yes you could, we all could be togother. Thanks to you Family, May God Bless you and Keep all of you safe.

Thinking of you Dad, this was always your day!

The Race

The Race
By JT Pilaf


Every year Zachary's AWANA Club have a soap box derby race. The participants purchase a $3 kit and bring them home to their awaiting fathers. This is supposed to be a time to bond; father and son or daughter sharing good old fashion quality time together. It ends up being a father/ grandfather project with both men vying for it to be a solo effort. The child is usually left watching Spongebob in the TV room.

This past Wednesday was the preliminary race with the winners moving on to greater glories. Leading up to the race a checklist must be completed.

#1 Design the car.
That's usually Zach's forte'. Of course a dad can reply with "I can't do that, but I can do it this way". The child then relents to his father's vision.

#2 Prepare the frame.
It all starts with a 3.5 ounce 3" X 7" block of wood. The design is drawn on the wood with a lead based #2 pencil (usually resembling an early year corvette) and then cut out. The frame is then painted (three coats usually does the trick). Chassis and wheels are carefully added and secured. Accessories and weights are then strategically placed to get the car up to it's maximum weight of 5 ounces. To make sure the car does not exceed the 5 oz. limit you need to take it to no less than 4 post offices and 1 meat deli in the Greater Buffalo Niagara Region
to have the clerks verify the weight. The tires need to be constantly tested to make sure there is no rubbing.


The race car, now as shiny as black onyx, is ready for the big race. The father, beaming with pride, hands off the finished gem to his son like an tribes elder or king offering his son all his possessions and land. The father's outstretched arms, the son surveying all infront of him, the passing of the leader's torch. Beautiful, just beautiful. 'snif'

Race day: Zach and I enter the auditorium with our matching racing jackets, dark glasses, and driving gloves on. We know we have the racing edge. We gently hang up our jackets exposing our ggreased, cut off t-shirts revealing our matching tattoos that read "Racing for God".

Zach registered and weighed his car for the final time with the AWANA official.
The race has four heats and to advance to the finals you must win a heat or finish in second place all four times. Zach finished in first twice and in second place twice. He was VERY happy.
In the finals he finished in second place .1 seconds behind the winner. Papa watched like an expectant ... well you know.

In Saturday's Regional race Zach won a heat to move on to the semi-finals but could not advance from there.




He always seems to be with the ladies.














Zach and papa check out the competition.














Zach lines up his car on the track.












Nothing needs to be said. He makes me smile.
















Zach with his second place trophy.

new brainstorming game!

Whatever could THIS be? Brainstorm away!

A prize, a prize a major prize!

And so much more challenging than the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse. I need help, family. It's time for me and Danya to part ways, and after a long career of working for someone else, I've decided to start my own company. Hence, the competition.

I need a name, and I need it soon.

This is where you all come in. Consider this a blog-based brainstorming, and give me some ideas for names. A few general pieces of information:

1) I'll do research and communications, broadly defined.
2) The name should be general but memorable.
3) Concrete is fine. Evocative/philosophical is fine. Cutesy, not so good.
4) My lawyer told me I can't use Dawn-ya, Donya, Banya, or Bonya.

The person who suggests the name I ultimately go with gets a prize, a prize a major prize. Now dust off your creativity shoes, and get to thinking!

The Night Of Terror!!!!!!!

It all started out innocently enough. My sister Linda had invited us over for spaghetti dinner night. Little did we know what awaited us.


Our first inkling that something was amiss was when we knocked on the door and were greeted by two ancient people.
"Velcome", they said. "We are the butler and housekeeper and we have been expecting you." I stole a quick glance at Unkie but he was struggling to open his 2nd Schmidts roady and didn't seem to notice anything was wrong.





It













quickly became apparent that we had wandered into THE HOUSE OF HORRORS when we rounded the corner and bumped into these this friendly fellow and his bride. Neither seemed to notice that they were dead! We were startled and turned to flee but found our way blocked by a very unfriendly beast. It offered to scratch our eyes out "free of charge." We politely declined and ran screaming in the other direction. (At this point Unkie was fumbling to open another beer and I decided I needed one as well.)

Just when we thought the worse was over we happened upon this! Slowly the lid of the coffin creaked open and out crawled the most horrifying sight yet! Unkie, by now, was squealing and crying. "Please, please, I'll do anything but let me live to drink another beer!"

Running as fast as we could, which wasn't all that fast" we encounter this sight ~ As scared as we were Unkie, being the avid sports enthusiast that he is, threatened the blind referee with bodily harm in the name of all Bills fans. "No, No," I screamed, " there's no time for that now!"










We ran and ran until we could run no more. Unkie did take one brief time out to have a beer withMr. Bones, his new friend from the coffin.


















And just when we thought we were safe...POOF! the spell was cast and Unkie and I were turned into these horrifying creatures. So, at Christmas, please don't be frightened by us. We are the same lovable Unkie and Antie, we just look different. Who knows by then we may even have found a way to break the spell. One more thing, could someone please open a beer for Unkie?

24 "The Surprise"

This is a story about a boy, his family, and a surprise visitor, called Mother Nature.
By JT Pilaf



Monday, October 9th, 12:15 PM
It was a beautiful fall day. The sun was brightly shining, birds were singing, and the kids were playing in the sand.

I was dutifully waiting for my wife to direct me to go change my selected outfit for the day before we ran off to the Buffalo Zoo. It's the German side of me that always matches up dark socks with slippers.
There had been early weather reports that indicated that there might be snow on Friday the 13th, a dusting. BUT, for four days over Columbus Day weekend we had gorgeous, sunny 75 - 80 degree weather.

Thursday the 12th, 3:00 PM

I was leaving work and snow flakes had already begun to fall. My five minute ride home was serene and peaceful. It made me wish I had Genesis' "Wind and Wuthering" in the car so I could put it into my car stereo. BUT, how could I do that before Thanksgiving? What was thinking? That's winter music.

Outside the snow fell wistfully to the unsuspecting ground. Mustafa, the squirrel, seemed to spell out our doom. He was prepared, he earlier had gone to Consumers and picked up a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

4:30 PM The snow was not letting up.

5:15 PM We lost our power while the kids and I were watching Spongebob. I was bummed. I never saw that episode before.

6:00 PM It was starting to get dark outside. Being the novice camper I went in the basement and brought up our collection of Coleman Camping Supplies to ready us for the night. NOW, I know once the power goes off your not supposed to open your fridge, so we just had PB & J sandwiches for supper. BUT, Zach wanted milk, so he opened the fridge.

6:32 PM Candles were lit and we sat down to a game of Sorry.

7:15 PM After losing at Sorry I joined my neighbor outside to experience the happenings. Tree limbs had already begun to fall from their century aged Silver Maple trunks.

7:45 PM We put the kids to bed.

7:46 PM I tried to get a lil' lovin' from the Mrs.

7:47 PM She respectfully declined my suggestion.

7:48 PM I this time suggested that we adjourn to the bedroom and try and stay together. I assured her there were no ulterior motives.

8:07 PM With fluttering candles lit and our very own 4th of JJuly just outside our bedroom window (thanks to the lightning and power surges from the cables) I once again attempted to bring a lil' romance to our chilled home.

8:08 PM Damn, shot down again.

Friday the 13th, 6:15 AM

The power was still out and it was quite chilly waking up to get ready for work. I took an ethnic shower provided by Mennon's Speedstick and went outside to start shoveling. Yeowza!!! That's a lot of snow.

7:16 AM I went back inside to call work and let them know I was going to be little late. I was quickly informed that there was no way I was going to make it in today.

8:45 AM I got the van stuck in the snow at the end of the driveway. This is going to take awhile.

Even though the magnitude and weight of the snow caused a lot of damage to our trees, yard, and displaced us for six days. I didn't mind the experience. We couldn't watch TV, so we played games, talked, and read. It's during these times that families (in a hectic fast paced world) get to slow down and enjoy each other for awhile. I'm sure Zach and Emma witnessed Sandra, and hopefully myself, behave with strength and reason. It was nice spending extended time with my gracious brother-in-law and parents.

Freaky Friday the 13th Part 1

I know there will be many pictures up from the storm that shocked the world. Hillary Clinton has just declared Western New York a "natural disaster area". Our cable has just been restored, so I am able to blog. The pictures will explain everything. I can blog much more later. I wanted to get these pictures up to reach our fan base ASAP.

A twenty minute ride from work turned into over an hour on Thursday night.

This picture was taken on the way home from work Thursday at around 6pm. Who would have known this was the start of 425,000 Western New Yorkers to be without power?

Apparently mother nature had a different idea in mind as the tree sitting in front of the house came crashing down on the rented KIA. Luckily no damage was done, but she withheld the weather.

This was a portion of the tree that collapsed on the front lawn of the house. Most neighbors used power saws to take care of the damage on the lawns. (Not my sissy, she used her bare hands).